This Saturday was my birthday. We went to visit my step-mom for some homemade chili and cake. (The cake was great, but I couldn't eat the chili because of my belly.)
I'm really glad we got to visit, even if we didn't get there until super late due to a miscommunication. This lead to my being a bit of a bitch the rest of the day, and I feel badly for taking it out on Anthony.
My moment of clarity came that night while I tried to fall asleep with my belly feeling like it was on fire. Anthony is my rock when I need him to be. And I am his in the same situation. We are amazing for each other, and anyone who sees us together during a crisis knows this.
We work well as a team, and I have never really had that before in a relationship. It's always felt very one-sided. I am very adept at handling large things in our lives. Alena's autism being the main example. I can handle her tantrums, her screaming and most of her behavior, but only in the grander scheme of things.
In the short term, I deal poorly with stress. Small stressors are what send me into my panic attacks and anxieties. But larger stressors, like problems with someone's health or troubles with the house, I can deal with like a pro.
Anthony is the opposite. It's refreshing to have someone who able to balance me out. I hope he feels the same way.
The best part about all of this, is that Alena gets a steady flow of careful parenting when she needs it most. If I am stressed out by her screaming and flailing around, Anthony usually takes over to soothe her. When he's upset by things with work or the house, I can give him his space and play quietly with Alena until he's feeling better.
Because of this teamwork, and because I feel secure enough to recognize it now, I have decided to quit smoking. It's been just over 5 years, and I have put them away for good.
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