This Saturday was my birthday. We went to visit my step-mom for some homemade chili and cake. (The cake was great, but I couldn't eat the chili because of my belly.)
I'm really glad we got to visit, even if we didn't get there until super late due to a miscommunication. This lead to my being a bit of a bitch the rest of the day, and I feel badly for taking it out on Anthony.
My moment of clarity came that night while I tried to fall asleep with my belly feeling like it was on fire. Anthony is my rock when I need him to be. And I am his in the same situation. We are amazing for each other, and anyone who sees us together during a crisis knows this.
We work well as a team, and I have never really had that before in a relationship. It's always felt very one-sided. I am very adept at handling large things in our lives. Alena's autism being the main example. I can handle her tantrums, her screaming and most of her behavior, but only in the grander scheme of things.
In the short term, I deal poorly with stress. Small stressors are what send me into my panic attacks and anxieties. But larger stressors, like problems with someone's health or troubles with the house, I can deal with like a pro.
Anthony is the opposite. It's refreshing to have someone who able to balance me out. I hope he feels the same way.
The best part about all of this, is that Alena gets a steady flow of careful parenting when she needs it most. If I am stressed out by her screaming and flailing around, Anthony usually takes over to soothe her. When he's upset by things with work or the house, I can give him his space and play quietly with Alena until he's feeling better.
Because of this teamwork, and because I feel secure enough to recognize it now, I have decided to quit smoking. It's been just over 5 years, and I have put them away for good.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Medical dealings
This past week has been full of trips to doctors and the hospital.
First, Alena got hives from something at therapy. I guess she was rubbing her eye because it was itchy, and she managed to burst the blood vessel in her eye. We spent about two hours at the ER to make sure the hives would stop spreading, and then went home.
So, despite the huge black eye, she was okay.
She developed a bit of a fever that night and these massively bright red cheeks. I took her to our family doctor the next morning, and she was diagnosed with Fifth's Disease. That was fun.
Then on Friday morning, she crawled into bed with me after Anthony's alarm clock went off. Just as she was laying down, I rolled over, and I ended up poking her in the eye. She screamed for a good five minutes, but then fell back asleep, so I figured she was okay. The guilt I felt was a whole different blog post!
Well, she ended up at the hospital twice that day, once by ambulance, because every time I tried to move her, she would scream.
The final diagnosis was: "She got poked in the eye."
I keep forgetting how to deal with doctors when you have a child with autism. You can't just sit back and watch. You become an active participant, and you have to stand up for your kid. The doctor can't ask questions, so you kind of become the expert on the needs and noises of your kids.
When the doctors tell you something you know not to be true, you have to speak up, and sometimes, you have to speak up very loudly to be heard.
Sometimes I have a hard time with this when it comes to myself and my own health issues, but when it comes to my daughter? Just try to shut me up.
First, Alena got hives from something at therapy. I guess she was rubbing her eye because it was itchy, and she managed to burst the blood vessel in her eye. We spent about two hours at the ER to make sure the hives would stop spreading, and then went home.
So, despite the huge black eye, she was okay.
She developed a bit of a fever that night and these massively bright red cheeks. I took her to our family doctor the next morning, and she was diagnosed with Fifth's Disease. That was fun.
Then on Friday morning, she crawled into bed with me after Anthony's alarm clock went off. Just as she was laying down, I rolled over, and I ended up poking her in the eye. She screamed for a good five minutes, but then fell back asleep, so I figured she was okay. The guilt I felt was a whole different blog post!
Well, she ended up at the hospital twice that day, once by ambulance, because every time I tried to move her, she would scream.
The final diagnosis was: "She got poked in the eye."
I keep forgetting how to deal with doctors when you have a child with autism. You can't just sit back and watch. You become an active participant, and you have to stand up for your kid. The doctor can't ask questions, so you kind of become the expert on the needs and noises of your kids.
When the doctors tell you something you know not to be true, you have to speak up, and sometimes, you have to speak up very loudly to be heard.
Sometimes I have a hard time with this when it comes to myself and my own health issues, but when it comes to my daughter? Just try to shut me up.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Autism and We
I decided a few days ago, that I needed to start writing down some of my experiences as a mom with autism. I know that there are probably hundreds, if not thousands of these blogs around, but this isn't really the point. I need somewhere to share information I find, my reactions to the news I get or read, and other personal things I want to share about my life with my daughter and fiancé.
What do you want to know about us, I wonder?
Anthony and I are engaged to be married on October 6th, of 2012. We're happily living together in our new house with my daughter Alena, our two dogs, Roscoe and Moomoo, and our two cats, Inara and Emmanuel. We love furry things, in case you couldn't tell.
Alena is my kiddo from a previous marriage, though Anthony treats her like she were his own. It's adorable to watch them do things together. She trusts him more than she does me sometimes. Probably because he doesn't often get to come when she has to go to the doctor's office... Currently, Alena is enrolled in IBI therapy through Kinark Child and Family Services. She goes every weekday, like a regular school, and has made amazing progress since starting therapy in April of 2010.
Our lives can get pretty hectic between meeting her needs, meeting our own needs, and at the same time trying to live productive lives! But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
My goal here is to make at least two posts a week. I know that seems like so few to some people, but that's how much I am willing to commit to for now. If it goes well, and I find myself able to do so without stress or strain on my family, I will up the ante.
Once again, Welcome to Autism and We.
What do you want to know about us, I wonder?
Anthony and I are engaged to be married on October 6th, of 2012. We're happily living together in our new house with my daughter Alena, our two dogs, Roscoe and Moomoo, and our two cats, Inara and Emmanuel. We love furry things, in case you couldn't tell.
Alena is my kiddo from a previous marriage, though Anthony treats her like she were his own. It's adorable to watch them do things together. She trusts him more than she does me sometimes. Probably because he doesn't often get to come when she has to go to the doctor's office... Currently, Alena is enrolled in IBI therapy through Kinark Child and Family Services. She goes every weekday, like a regular school, and has made amazing progress since starting therapy in April of 2010.
Our lives can get pretty hectic between meeting her needs, meeting our own needs, and at the same time trying to live productive lives! But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
My goal here is to make at least two posts a week. I know that seems like so few to some people, but that's how much I am willing to commit to for now. If it goes well, and I find myself able to do so without stress or strain on my family, I will up the ante.
Once again, Welcome to Autism and We.
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